Coming back to Sleep
What is the reason I came back to cannabis 15 years after last using it in college? One word: SLEEP. All of a sudden sleep became this mystery – this wistful goal. For me, it was when I got pregnant. I stopped sleeping. Everything hurt, I was never comfortable. And I was worried about EVERYTHING. Then I had the baby – and it just got worse. Even if I was trying to participate in the hell that is sleep training or when I was co-sleeping (meaning the baby slept, I did NOT), my body just got used to being up every few hours and my rhythm just never returned. Even when both kids were sleeping perfectly all night – either I had racing thoughts before bed or I was so exhausted I could fall asleep right away but then was up at 3:22 am every damn day. I was downing Advil pm, and when that wore off, I started taking a prescribed sleep medication. Did it knock me the eff out? Yes. I also woke up groggy AF not to mention the number it did on my sex drive, and the numbness during the day. I didn’t feel sad, but I didn’t feel ANYTHING. This was bullshit.
We were in the midst of applying for our cultivation license so I was learning all about cannabis. It didn’t have to be the anonymous bag of green schwag my best guy friend had offered me at the dorm. There were strains, and specific effects… and it could solve this sleep problem thing so, a new lens. Ok, let’s try this. A bit more grown up.
I learned about “Indica” which I now know means strains with myrcene and CBN and other sleepy terpenes and cannabinoids. I tried a pre-roll and the most amazing thing happened. The racing thoughts slowed their roll…my jaw unclenched, my body relaxed, and I drifted off into the most gorgeous sleep.
It took some tweaking – I was falling asleep but still waking up early – around 4 am, so I added a gummy JUST AS I was ready to drift off and hit the sheets and it kept me asleep all night. I’ve experimented with vape pens, edibles, and pre-rolls and come up with my own concoction. I talked with my doctor and I sloowwwwwlyyyyy went off the sleep meds which were also acting as an anti-anxiety…and poof. They were gone. And let me tell you, it was like waking up in 3d. Like everything had been in 2d. I felt so much better being off those pharmaceuticals. Now, this is just my story. There is no shame in the med game! For me – it wasn’t a good fit. I was finally getting to sleep. And I wasn’t so drugged up on sleep meds that I couldn’t hear my babies calling for me in the middle of the night if they needed me.
It was a revelation. Once you have your sleep back…everything flows with more ease. Eating habits, mood, patience with my kids. It changed everything.